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Modern Mamas & Modern Families

Jasmine Van Allen

Dec 5, 2022

Part Two: All the Feels

Do you remember, either back in school or maybe in your professional life now, that feeling you get when you realize that the deadline you were given for a big project is fast approaching?

That important project felt like it was so far away. You had plenty of time to complete it properly and thoroughly but now it has suddenly crept up on you and you don’t know how or if you will complete it in time?

That pretty much sums up third trimester of pregnancy. Especially the closer you get to the end of the tunnel, as they say. First and second trimesters went by rather quickly in comparison and you’ve kept up with the “deadlines” associated with said trimesters easily. Now, however, to say things feel overwhelming is a bit of an understatement.

My partner and I, on top of both of our full-time jobs — which are demanding in their own rights — are now using every free moment together to prepare the nursery; buy missing necessities needed for baby; attend prenatal classes and workshops; wash, clean and meal-prep while we can; just to name a few tasks on the seemingly never-ending list.

On top of all that, when you do share your feelings with others, the response is usually something akin to: “it’s just preparing you for parenthood;” or, “if you think you’re busy/stressed now, just wait till the baby is here;” or “you guys wanted to be parents. You should have seen this coming.”

Honestly? It just adds to the frustration and stress… yes, we know parenthood will be hard, we know it will be stressful, overwhelming, and exhausting. But it doesn’t make our current feelings on the matter any less valid.

Just because you know a new adventure or opportunity will be difficult and at times downright daunting, does not negate your current feelings. Just because you choose to become a parent, does not mean you don’t also get to feel scared or overwhelmed at times and mixed with your excitement and joy at meeting your new little miracle!

So, my advice to new mamas and papas is this: choose one trusted source to help you make a checklist of what you need to accomplish and when the “deadline” is for each task, listed by priority.

Granted, I am someone who has always found comfort in making lists, as it helps to bring order to the chaos of my thoughts in the most stressful times. If lists are not your thing, no problem at all!

Ask your trusted source, be they a medical professional, literature or a trusted source on the internet and focus on one task at a time.

Rome wasn’t built in a day, and neither will your nest as you make changes to accommodate your new bundle of joy! Enjoy every happy moment, live in the moment, try your best not to get swept up in the conflicting information and opinions around you and just try to enjoy the last few weeks of this journey before the next chapter of your life begins!

By Jasmine Van Allen

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